Hi! I’m Kerry. I’m a wife, a mother, a business owner, a nurse, and a fitness instructor. I’m also an author! What?! I know right?! I wrote a book! Yes, a whole book. No, there aren’t pictures. It’s legit! Why, you ask, would I do such a thing?! Well, I just have SO much time on my hands, as the resume above clearly attests. No, it’s actually because I’ve had some interesting life experiences and learned some things along the way that I thought other folks might find useful too. Sharing is caring!
My book, In Bed With the Business, is about my marriage. Now, this isn’t just any old, run-of-the-mill marriage, self-help book. My book is about being married to a business owner/entrepreneur and the unique lifestyle that comes along with that. We have many of the same struggles that all marriages have; money, work/life balance, power struggles. But, we found that we couldn’t relate to many of our other couple friends, because they just didn’t get our situation. After many hard years of navigating this world with no map we came up with a way to compartmentalize our marriage into the relationship side and the operations side. By running the operations side like a business, the relationship side strengthened. In, IBWTB I outlined how we did it in hopes of helping other couples who may have similar obstacles.
So, why blog? Well, after publishing the book I was stunned at the responses I got from so many people who related to these issues. It seemed to me that I’d only scratched the surface of the issue and that there must be more out there I hadn’t considered. There are so many stories, so many varying situations, so many different personalities and circumstances. It made me curious to see what else was out there. Were there other people like us; couples trying to live “the American Dream”, but who feared what success may cost them? Were there other spouses out there who felt disconnected from their livelihood? Were there other families out there unprepared for this roller coaster lifestyle? Were there other business owners out there alienated from their significant other because they felt so misunderstood? Were there other marriages and relationships struggling to hold it together under the pressure of holding up their business? Could we help each other? Would it be possible to develop a community of these people? A community of support and encouragement? Could we answer the questions no one had even thought to ask? What else would a community like this be interested in discussing, in learning, in figuring out- together? Oh, the possibilities…
There were other things I considered when I decided to start this blog. It’s a little more raw and a little more vulnerable, but I believe that qualifies for something. I was very unhappy in my marriage and my circumstances. I stayed. And I’m glad I did. I recognize that that can’t always be the case, that not everything is reconcilable. If you read that and you hesitated there, I am talking directly to you, whether you have a business or not.
According to the 2017 Census, there are 60.8 MILLION married people in the US. There is a good chance I could appeal to a few. I feel very strongly that the pain I felt then helped position me where I am now. I’ve examined what happened in my marriage from every possible angle, even the gross squishy parts and the stale dry parts. If what we learned could help anyone, ANY marriage, ANY life, I had a responsibility to share that. When we were at our worst, I hurt, he hurt, and our family suffered. We prevailed anyway. Now THAT is “the American Dream”.
So here I am. I’m here to tell you there is life on the other side. There is hope for the relationship you always dreamed of. There is an identity on the other side of your business. There are “best practices” for how to conduct your marriage. Some of these posts will be flippant advice, some will be business based, some will be family oriented, and others may be witty quips about life in general. Dealers choice. All of it will be sincere and heart felt. Please proceed with caution, as I am human. I DO NOT HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER! I am not a therapist and I have no idea what I’m doing half the time. Just ask my kids. Everyone has their own opinions and we all have to do what works for our individual situations. These are my insights, consider them, chew on them, process them, use them if it suits. If not, that’s ok too.
So hop on the roller coaster. Make sure your safety harness is securely fastened. It’s gonna be a wild ride!