One of Adam’s favorite ways to start a conversation with someone is by asking, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Have you asked yourself this question lately?
I’ll be honest. It always throws me off; I hardly know what I’m doing tomorrow. The grown up I already am has gotten in the way of me being able to think much bigger than that.
Everybody has dreams. Adam especially. He is the King of Big Thinking! Sometimes it’s hard to know what’s real and what’s wishful thinking with him. He thinks he can simply speak something into being if he says it loudly enough. I usually just roll my eyes and don’t get too worked up about anything until it’s actually happening. But then there are those times when he’ll say, “I want to go to Richard Branson’s island,” and I roll my eyes like I usually would. Then the next thing you know I’m on a boat taking us to that very island where I danced on tables with Sir RB himself.
But, what if your dreams and the dreams of your partner headbutt each other? What if (like me) you’ve forgotten how to dream and you’re perfectly comfortable where you are while your partner builds an empire without you? What if you both spin off doing your own things for so long that you don’t know how to get back to each other? What if you completely disagree on where your combined money, energy, and time should be spent, and the conflict brings all dreams to a screeching halt?
How do you realign your visions toward mutual success without losing each other along the way?
It may come as a surprise to know that figuring out a Family Vision doesn’t start with the family. It actually starts with you.
Both individuals have to dream big on their own before they can bring that back to one another, combine forces, and formulate a pathway to success.
So how do you start?
First, write down your very greatest “pie in the sky” idea and work backwards from there. Where would you be within that dreamscape 10 years from now, then 5 years from now, then 3, then 1? Try not to get too bogged down in the details or roadblocks.
Then look backwards. Where were you 10 years ago? 5? 3? 1? Where does that put you in relation to your “pie in the sky” dream?
Then write down your obstacles. Again, don’t get too detailed. Just a brief list.
Then take that to your partner and switch dreamscapes. Maybe they have some ideas. Maybe they see some blind spots you’ve missed. Maybe they’ll surprise you and encourage you in whatever it is you’ve found impossible to do up to this point.
Then you start to weave those dreams into your Family Vision. You’d have to include your kids’ dreams into the plan as well. You have to get a full picture of where your family wants to go. The “how” will come later.
An additional question ask each other when developing your family vision is this: what legacy will we leave behind? How will you be remembered? What future do you want to leave for your children and their children?
The answer to that question is how your vision would affect the 3 P’s: purpose, people, and planet. In other words, will this dream give you a strong sense of purpose? What people will be most affected? What will it do for the world?
When I started In Bed With the Business I froze the writing process for about 8 months. I just dropped the work altogether. I started to get so hung up on what people would think. Wasn’t it tacky to air your marriage’s dirty laundry out for the world to see? What would my Granny have thought? Would it hurt Adam? Would it hurt my kids? Could it actually help anyone at all?
It ultimately took a final push of reassurance from Adam to get me to complete the work. I couldn’t just stop in the middle of a dream just because of fear and uncertainty. If I had started the dreaming process with him earlier, I might have done it better and saved myself a lot of worry and pain. It wasn’t until I shared it with him that it grew into the Whole Life Entrepreneurship movement it is today.
You can get to where you want to go. But, you can’t, and you shouldn’t do it alone. A shared vision allows for room for growth and development for everyone AND the support needed to achieve it. Wherever you are going, you have to be going there together.
VISION is just the first step. We’ll get into the HOW later. For now just ruminate on the question: who do you want to be when you grow up?